Behavior Report 42

Dearest Love,

You’ll never believe the types of looks Earl and I receive as we make our way back through the castle with torn and tattered uniforms, blood stains … looking like something the cat dragged in. But what’s even better is the looks on the Krauts’ faces when they are mysteriously pushed aside to make room for us.

That’s the benefit to having ghostly friends who can manifest themselves to affect the outside world. Quinten and George find a common ground in pushing the Krauts aside. They laugh and try to one up the other by what they say.

“Outta the way you mangy mutt,” George says.

“You kiss your mom with that face?” Quinten counters.

“Make way. Coming through. Real soldiers need room.”

“Have you never seen a real man before?” Quinten says to one of the more attractive Kraut women. “I could show you some real American firepower.”

The rest of the boys groan and Roland says, “It’s probably a good thing she can’t see you.”

“Hardy har har,” Quinten responds.

I direct everyone through the castle and down to the large hall where the remaining Jeeps, trucks, and Sherman tanks reside. “We can hop on a Jeep and follow the road until we catch up with the fake division,” I say.

“Then what?” Earl says.

All the wind in my proverbial sails stop when I realize I don’t have a plan.

“We’ll figure it out,” Lieutenant Talbott says while stepping forward from the rest. “We don’t have enough intel to know how fast they’re going, what they have, and if they’ll even see us as a threat. Who knows? We may even be able to join up with them and go the whole way with them not suspecting a thing. Then, when the time is right, we can warn our own forces.”

“Yeah,” I smile. “That’s what I was thinking.”

Earl smiles and shakes his head.

Another benefit to having ghostly friends is that they can fit anywhere. We hop into a Jeep with me at the wheel, Earl in the passenger seat, and the rest of the boys disappear to be summoned at another time. The cave leads to a gravel road that wraps around the mountain outside of the castle walls and eventually meets up with the forest. From there, the road veers back and forth to avoid massive landmarks. We drive under fallen branches and leaves and even through a boulevard of dandelions.

When the road is smooth, I press the pedal to the floor, and we fly through the Cauchemar Forest without a care for the beasts and fauna. I can’t lie, My Love, flying down the road and having the wind rush through my hair felt spectacular. I wish there was a way to sneak a Jeep back home in my pack!

“I’ve been thinking,” Earl says. “The best course of action or maybe I should say the safest, seems to be the one where we blend in with the Krauts and warn the Americans when the timing is right.”

“Think we can blend in with the way we look, all bloodied and run down?”

“I don’t know what else we can do,” Earl says with a defeated look. “We’ve got the sword and gauntlet, maybe we can attack them?”

“We’ll only damage one tank before the whole division turns on us,” I say. “I’m not trying to be negat–”

Earl snaps his fingers and says, “Unless they stop for the night, and we sabotage their vehicles.”

Lieutenant Talbott appears between us from the back seat to say, “Sometimes, the best plan is to avoid the enemy at all costs. Trying to blend in or even sabotaging them seem to have too many problems that could go wrong, in my opinion. I’d recommend catching up with them but stay back and out of sight or get around them and beat them to their destination.”

Earl and I look at one another, smile, and then turn our attention back to the road. My Love, some people have a knack for coming up with the best ideas. The smile we shared was a confirmation as to why Lieutenant Talbott was a lieutenant, and we were just privates.

Shortly after, we come across a patch where floodwaters span across the width of the road between the base of two trees on either side. I take my foot off the pedal and slow to a stop.

Earl stands from his seat and says, “Did they do this?” 

“The Krauts? No. I can’t imagine they know we are onto them,” Lieutenant Talbott says. He appears and kneels at the water’s edge. “Looks deep in the middle. I’m not sure the Jeep will make it through without killing the engine.”

I hop out, leaving the motor running, and join Lieutenant Talbott. The water is cool and clear. I feel electricity when I touch it. The dried blood on my hands disappears into a red cloud.

“Looks like we’ll have to drive around one of the trees and rejoin the road on the other side,” I say.

“Do you have any idea where the river is?” Earl says from the Jeep.

“No.” I look in both directions. “The water’s still … no current … I don’t see anything that leads me to believe the river is one way or the other.”

“Well,” Lieutenant Talbott stands with me. “If we run into the river, we fill up your canteens with clean water and then turn around to drive around the other way. If we make the right call and get around the tree, then we can continue trying to catch up with the Krauts.”

“Right or left then?”

“Frank, you’re driving. You make the call.” Lieutenant Talbott smiles.

I hop back into the Jeep and grind the gear as I put it into reverse. We back up far enough to clear the river when turning and start our trip around. Without the road, our path is bumpy and loud. Weed saplings “Ting” against the bumper as we plow through. Each bump is marked with a “Thunk” or a “Ka-chunk” as our things bounce around. There are a few times when Earl lets out a “Whoa” when our butts leave the seat. I avoid the bigger things like black walnuts that could permanently end our journey. Our path leads us around a large root and underneath a collection of last fall’s leaves that end at the riverbank. 

“Of course,” I say. “You guys should have picked the direction.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lieutenant Talbott says. “Hop out, get some fresh water, and then go back from where we came. We’re still a lot faster than those Krauts. We’ll catch up.”

I shut off the engine, find my canteen, and walk with Earl to the river. The current is slow, like molasses, and only moves in the middle. Most of the water sits in a floodplain that expands well beyond the natural riverbanks. The bottom few feet of the weeds and leaf piles are underwater.

“Hey, we could jump onto a leaf and ride it like a raft,” Earl says. “It would be our own Huckleberry Finn adventure. There’s plenty of space for the two of us. With a little engineering and some twigs, we could make ourselves a houseboat. Heck, we could each have a room and a mess hall and even an entertainment space.”

I smile as I think about the potential. “Would be nice,” I say. “Could you imagine what our boys would do on such an adventure? They’d never want to leave!”

My Love, what is it about water that’s so calming? Standing at the edge of the floodwaters and watching the current does something to me. It feels like every cell and sinew inside my body adjust themselves to align with the water flow. Maybe the calming effect comes from the idea that water always moves forward, regardless of what’s ahead. A dam is only a hindrance and water expands itself to seek out a weakness that can be exploited. With enough time, water can wear down the hardest stone and build entire civilizations. Nothing can stop it.

I guess I could learn a thing or two from studying water.

Earl bumps my shoulder and points to a spot in the distance. “See that huge stone in the middle of the river? I’ll bet that’s what’s causing all the flooding.”

“That’s strange,” I say. The stone is a collection of individual mounds with stalagmites protruding from every available space.

“It is. It’s not like a big rock like that can just get up and move.”

I raise one eyebrow towards Earl and say nothing.

“Oh…”  He laughs. “Guess that’s true anywhere else but here.”

“Something about that mound seems familiar. Do you see a rock or something I can throw?” I say, looking about the ground. I find one that’s about the size of a baseball and hurl it at the mound.

“What are you doing?” Earl says.

“I wouldn’t do that, Frank,” Lieutenant Talbott adds.

My toss perfectly strikes the center of the mound, and it jumps. Several rocks move on the left side and expose a sapphire eye and horns. Earl and Lieutenant Talbott take several steps back.

“What did you do?” Earl says. “We should get in the Jeep and get out of here.”

“Yeah. That’s a good idea,” Lieutenant Talbott adds.

Both men run to the Jeep.

Two feet unfurl from the front of the mound and lift the body up far enough to allow two hind quarters to stand. Avalanches of pebbles and dust pour from the beast’s body and splash into the river. Instantly, the floodwaters begin to subside and are drawn back into the river.

“Frank?”

I smile.

“Frank.”

The monster turns and faces us. Ripples form in the water as a low rumble emanates from the mound.

“Frank, what are you doing?” Earl calls from the driver’s seat. “We have to go.” Concern strains his voice.

I hold my up my hand to calm my friends. “It’s okay. I know this monster.”

“You know this monster?”

“Hey there,” I say to the monster. “How are we doing?”

My voice spurs the monster to move. Each step makes a “Kerplunking” sound in the water. The monster crosses the distance between us and gently nuzzles its nose into my chest. Earl yells.

“Hey,” I say. “Good to see you again.”

I rub its nose. Hidden within its stone helmet are two nostrils that flare whenever it exhales. I conduct a quick check of its wounds and find that everything appears to be fully healed.

“Wait a minute,” I say. “Did you go into the river to heal yourself?”

I hear murmuring from the Jeep. Earl and Lieutenant Talbott say things like, “He’s lost it,” and “Frank’s cooking without gas.”

I turn to them to say, “I rescued this poor thing in the castle. They had it chained up.”

“I don’t blame them,” Earl says.

“That thing could tear apart a tank in no time flat,” Lieutenant Talbott says.

The beast nudges its nose further into my chest as if to say, “Love me more.”

“You are quite a creature aren’t you.” I continue to rub its nose, which feels no different than petting a rock. “You were stopping up the river, silly. You flooded the road, and we couldn’t go anywhere. Were you helping those mean old Krauts?”

“Frank?”

I turn around and see that all the boys have appeared around the Jeep.

“Hey, it’s okay!” I say.

Quinten clears his throat and says, “That’s it. We’re doomed. Frank has lost his mind.”

I give the monster one last good petting and say, “You take care now, okay. Stay away from those mean old Krauts.”

Earl starts up the Jeep as I join them. The floodwaters subside, leaving a small, but drivable layer left. Earl throws the Jeep into gear and says, “Nuts. You’re nuts,” and steers well clear of the monster.

We eventually join up with the road once again where Earl really steps on the gas. He weaves through a few leaves and begins to make great time. Over the engine, I hear a crash from behind.

“You’re not going to believe this,” Earl says while looking at the side mirror.

I turn to look. The monster follows us like a long-lost pup. Its nose and horns crash through the leaves and debris like brushing a hand through a cobweb.  

“Guess we got a stray,” I say.

Earl pushes the pedal to the floor and picks up speed only to have the monster do the same.

“Can we keep him?” I add.

Earl gives me the best fatherly look he can muster and says, “You don’t know the first thing about caring for a monster.”

Lieutenant Talbott appears in the back seat and leans forward between us. “I think that you’re missing out on a prime opportunity. Instead of trying to lose this tank busting monster, maybe you should harness it. With it by our side, there’s no need to fear any other monsters or Krauts you come across.”

“I do believe you have a grand idea,” I say.  

“Fine,” Earl says with an exasperated expression. “You can keep it.”

I look back at the monster and discover that the rest of the boys appear riding on its back. Each man holds a stalagmite. Most are smiling or laughing while Emil and Russel hang on for dear life.

An hour passes and our travels remain steady throughout. We begin to feel the Earth rise and I am reminded of my entry into the Cauchemar Forest. I think back to that time, which feels so long ago, when I took my first unknowing steps into the forest. Where the land dropped into a vast valley and the trees became taller and wider the further, I walked in. Our path now did the opposite and I pay special attention to the trees and their canopies. The height of leaf cover never changes, but the amount of trunk leading up to it does. Euphoria finds me.

“We’re getting close,” I say.

“To what?” Earl responds.

“The edge of the forest!”

Up ahead, the road takes a sharp turn to our left.

“Keep going straight,” I say.

“Why?”

“Because I want to get out of this forest as fast as we can.”

“But the Krauts?”

“They took the road and who knows how far it winds around before reaching the edge. This could be our way to beat them to the shore.”

Earl follows my direction and drives straight into the forest when the road curves away. There’s still plenty of space between the trees and debris for a quick drive through. We bounce on the rough terrain but get through mostly unscathed. The monster continues to follow us with no care for the change.

The trees begin to shrink as does our clear path. Weeds and grasses pass by with ever increasing density. Their heights reduce from towering overhangs to man-sized fauna to normal-sized pluckable annoyances. The trees thin down as well and become more abundant. Earl has to slow down and steer into openings to avoid accidents.

And then, glory of all glories, the river appears between the trees in the distance. I cheer and stand, using the windshield to keep my balance through the bumpy ride. Earl takes a few quick turns to avoid disaster and arrives at the shoreline where he stops.

The river flows with great speed and is about a hundred or so feet wide. Foam rushes past at a hurried pace. Rapids splash over stones.

“This is it. This is the end,” I say, excitedly. “I can’t believe it. We just have to cross, and we’re done with this forest.”

“I hate to say this, Frank,” Earl says. “But we’re not out of yet. There’s no way we’re going to be able cross this river without a bridge.”